The Art of Loving: An Inquiry into the Nature of Love

"The Art of Loving" is a book by psychologist, Erich Fromm. Fromm draws attention to the cultural qualities we embrace, which often obstruct our path towards developing a truly loving nature. In response to this, he not only defines 'Love,' but also articulates the conditions for its achievement. After looking around and seeing a fickle, transient notion of love embraced by many of my peers, this book offered me a fresh perspective on the nature of love and developing a deeper, more enriching capacity to Love.

"Love is an action, the practice of a human power, which can be practiced only in freedom and never as a result of compulsion.
Love is an activity, not a passive affect; it is a 'standing in,' not a 'falling for.' In the most general way, the active character of love can be described by stating that love is primarily giving not receiving." (22)

"What does one person give to another? He gives of himself, of the most precious he has, he gives of his life. This does not necessarily mean that he sacrifices his life for the other--but that he gives him of that which is alive in him; he gives him of his joy, of his interest, of his understanding, of his knowledge, of his humor, of his sadness--of all expressions and manifestations of that which is alive in him. In thus giving of his life, he enriches the other person, he enhances the other's sense of aliveness by enhancing his own sense of aliveness.
In the art of giving something is born, and both persons involved are grateful for the life that is born for both of them." (24-25)

"l'amour est l'enfant de la liberte'; love is the child of freedom, never that of domination." (28)

"Care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge are mutually interdependent. They are a syndrome of attitudes which are to be found in the mature person; that is, in the person who develops his own powers productively, who only wants to have that which he has worked for, who has given up narcissistic dreams of omniscience and omnipotence, who has acquired humility based on the inner strength which only genuine productive activity can give." (32-33)